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Blogderdash – it’s classified.

Blogderdash – it’s classified.

So I’ve been trying to sell these whitewater rafts on Craigslist. One guy who responded really peaked my interest. He wrote very ambiguous emails seemingly sidestepping any details and avoiding pointed questions I had for him.

I had a funny feeling so I reported him to the Federal Trade Commission – which is the grownup’s equivalent to tattle-tailing, but this guy was trying to take me for a lot more than my lunch money, so I didn’t feel bad.

Turns out he was a fraud. Crazy, right?!

He sent a cashiers check (which was phony) that was for much more than we agreed on. Then I was to cash the check and give the moving company the difference when they came to pick up the raft. So, in essence, he gets money AND my raft, and I get a court hearing and a hefty fine for cashing a fake check – SWEET!

Don’t worry, due to my tattle-tailing clever reporting, his evil plan was foiled (mwuah ha ha ha).

Now to the subject of this post. When I reported the craigslist criminal mastermind, I was asked to forward his incriminating emails to When I asked what UCE stands for, I was met with the famous line: I’m sorry sir, it’s classified. Words that breed a cruel level of intrigue in the heart of anyone who has ever yearned to utter them (for realsies – not in the I can’t tell you what I bought you for Easter way, but in the I could tell you, but I’d have to kill you way).

So, I bring it to you. What does UCE stand for? Give me your best guess.

This is like blog Balderdash… or, you guessed it: Blogderdash (ha ha ha)

Then join me in a collective shout out to the craigslist criminal mastermind, and a tribute to good ol’ Kevin McCallister by saying: “Keep the change ya filthy animal!”

home alone

View Comments (9)
  • OMG Craig, you are hilarious. I can hear you saying these words as I read them. BTW we’ve been watching old Seinfelds a lot lately, and about once an episode I say, “Jerry is seriously Craig.” David’s like, “Yeah, I get it. Get over it.” Ha ha ha.

  • I live for Blogderdash…..

    UCE= Communist Unification of Spain
    Translated into Spanish: Unificación Comunista de España (UCE)
    Story: I believed you may have talked to/helped the Communist party of Spain which accounts for all the secrecy. I believe that the man that tried to swindle you was part of this eledged party that is happening in Spain (it doesn’t sound like a very fun party to me) and the reason he was trying to swindle you was because he was trying to leave this “party”. So, naturally, the UCE would have a phone tap at the Federal Trade Commission looking for him and/or someone working on the inside (I mean who wouldn’t right?!). So when you called the FTC and started to describe what was going on, the UCE took full advantage of this opportunity to catch this criminal mastermind and bring him back to the “party”. So they have you email all this information to, spam obviously being the name of the ruler of the UCE, so that they can bring him in.

    Very Clever.

  • Ultimate Combat Experience [was the first google hit I got], meaning that he’s an MMA competitor and “it’s classified” is a lot more polite than “I’ll knock your teeth out if you don’t take my bad check”.

    Let me know if you need any more help decoding shady plans. I teach adolescents: unraveling BS is my daily bread.

  • Craig!!!
    crazy- I’m pretty positive mine was the same thing. dumb.
    who are these people!
    they are so mean.

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