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Marshmallow Maniac

Marshmallow Maniac

My friend Bryan and I were driving through Ft. Jones over the weekend when we saw a teenaged boy (let’s just call him the Marshmallow Maniac) walking down the highway with nothing but the clothes on his back and a box of “magically delicious” Lucky Charms, presumably just purchased at the local market.

There was a spring in his step and a smile on his face as he bounced home to consume his disgusting “magically delicious” Lucky Charms.

We casually commented on how dedicated this young chap was to walk to the store for no other reason than to buy a box of tooth decaying “magically delicious” Lucky Charms.  

We had no idea.

Bryan and I continued at our comfortable rate of 60 mph, drove to Etna (15 or so miles), enjoyed a tasty treat from Dotty’s Corner Kitchen, purchased a few items from Ray’s Foodmart and then began the drive home.  

A short geography lesson: from Ft. Jones to my turn off is over 6 miles. six. VI. seis. sechs. 六. SIX!

 As we made the turn off, guess who we saw: the Marshmallow Maniac! Are you kidding me!?

What’s worse he didn’t even look like he was phased.  He was still complete with springy step, bounce, smile, and box of rot your insides “magically delicious” Lucky Charms!

This sugar fiend had walked over twelve miles round trip seemingly without regret.


Here’s to you Marshmallow Maniac, and your dedication to burn a whole in your stomach “magically delicious” Lucky Charms.

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  • Wow. Note that the shapes have changed in the last 30 years to include the more inclusive 5-pointed star, instead of the Star of David. Yahweh must be pissed.

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